A Personal Update

What's been going on in my life lately...

Hey friends.

It’s been a while since I hopped on my computer and shared a personal update. I’m very thankful that I do have a team that can keep things running for me while I need to step away for a little bit (which is how I’ve still been able to publish some fashion content over the past few weeks), but the truth is that I am deep in the grieving process, and fashion has been the farthest thing from my mind.

We lost my dad very suddenly on April 28th. It’s a day I will, unfortunately, remember forever. Though it has been nearly three weeks, I am so early in this journey of grief. I have experienced every emotion under the sun, from the the most unbearable pain I’ve ever felt to the strangest peace, knowing that I will see my daddy again in Heaven. I am relying on God to get me through from one moment to the next and trying to be strong for my sweet mom. I never know what each day will bring. Sometimes I wake up and bounce right into mom and work life, so I feel distracted and somewhat “normal” - other days I don’t want to get out of bed, the grief feels all-consuming.

I’ve done a lot of reflection on my dad’s life over the past three weeks - and it was truly a wonderful life that he lived. He LIVED for Christ - he treated every single person, no matter his kids, neighbor, a stranger, or the grocery store cashier, with respect and kindness. He asked people’s names, got to know them, showed them compassion and never expected anything in return. He loved his family most of all, his kids and grandkids, and especially my mom. Reflecting on his life, and how short it was, is such an important reminder to me in how I live my own life. How well do I love my neighbors? My friends? Anyone I come into contact with? How am I a spiritual leader for my kids? How does my behavior reflect how Christ lived, especially when no one is looking? I want my dad’s legacy to live on through me - and that means I have some work to do in my life.

I don’t want to dwell on this too much, but I did want to address it and also say thank you to everyone who has reached out to me. Your messages, comments, calls and texts have made me feel a little less alone. I am so appreciative for all your support. And yes, for those asking - I am still very pregnant. We will be meeting our newest addition in four weeks (if she comes on time). It is so crazy to think that in times of the deepest grief, there are also moments of eclipsing joy - like welcoming a new baby into the world. I truly can’t wait to hold a newborn all day, every day and never let her go. (The photos above are from our recent maternity shoot with Good Graces Photography.)

I will be returning to regular posting and fashion content this week… as much as I would love to curl up into a ball and not post for a while, this is a business and I do have to return to work at some point. Just know that I might be smiling in some photos, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not heartbroken inside.

I will miss and love you forever, daddy. ❤️